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New thread for Kwanz-mass-KkahFollow

#1 Dec 24 2017 at 12:54 AM Rating: Excellent
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Starting a new thread because SOMEONE (stupidmonkey) tried to dump HOLIDAY CHEER (friggin' stupidmonkey) in an OLDE THREAD (stupidmonkey again...srlsy man, ftw?).

Happy-well-kind wishes and prayers to all of you (whether you want them or not) Even gbaji Smiley: tongue.

I'll add to this later, gettin' mah drink on for the moment.Smiley: drunk

EDIT:

I'll have a Blue Christmas without you..
I'll be so blue
Thinking about you
Decorations of red
On a red Christmas tree
I'll have a UUUHHHHHH blue, blue Christmas.

Edited, Dec 24th 2017 3:36am by Bijou
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remorajunbao wrote:
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#2 Dec 24 2017 at 6:22 AM Rating: Excellent
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Merry Christmas,

Smiley: schooled Smiley: jesterSmiley: monkey
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Annabella, Goblin in Disguise wrote:
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#3 Dec 24 2017 at 11:58 PM Rating: Excellent
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Merry Christmas and whatnot, motherfuckers.

Edited, Dec 25th 2017 12:00am by Demea
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#4 Dec 25 2017 at 9:21 AM Rating: Good
GBATE!! Never saw it coming
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So, I just got home from work.

I'll miss out on the mountain of delicious goodies the Cornerstone Mission will be inundated with today. There's no friggin' way I'll be awake by or at 1:30pm for the big feast.Smiley: frown

On the plus side, by working the overnight shift I got to spend 87% of my time dinking around on You-Tube and 13% of it on actual work. On the minus side, my chance to get to spend 5 seconds with family today is totaly destroyed and I've got about 11 minutes left on my lame-o LG flip phone. This day may end with my family assuming I'm dead or otherwise incapacitated. Or an A-hole.

There was one guy who I checked in at 2:30am so I feel like I'm one up on the owner of the inn that told Mary and Joseph to buzz off. I'm awesome. And humble.

Did I mention it's, like -2 F here? With even a modest wind that makes for a wind chill of aboot -25 F. That "F" isn't for "Fahrenheit", btw. It's for f&%k. As in "It's minus two degrees? F&%K!!!" What I'm sayin' here is - if a male brass monkey wanted to transition, all he'd have to do is step outside in Rapid City.Holy crap...I'm clever, too!
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remorajunbao wrote:
One day I'm going to fly to Canada and open the curtains in your office.

#5 Dec 29 2017 at 10:28 AM Rating: Excellent
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Sounds like one kinky porno.

We're just wet and sick here. Mostly sick now, since the wet is hopefully staying outside. Holidays can go **** themselves. Between sickness, fighting families, grumpy in-laws, lack of time, and all the other things it's shaping up to be a jolly 'ol time. I'm burning through a lot of data on the phone while trying to ignore it all too, which won't be ideal come the end of next month. Smiley: rolleyes

On the plus side though the kids found a bunch of old Bert and Ernie skits from the 70s and 80s online, and have been watching them nonstop (speaking of data...). Wow Sesame Street has changed a lot in the last 30 years. Smiley: lol
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#6 Dec 29 2017 at 4:31 PM Rating: Good
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The 70s are a lot closer to 50 years than to 30 mate.
#7 Jan 02 2018 at 7:32 AM Rating: Excellent
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Friar Bijou wrote:
On the plus side, by working the overnight shift I got to spend 87% of my time dinking around on You-Tube and 13% of it on actual work.
That's pretty much my daily schedule. Smiley: thumbsup
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#8 Jan 02 2018 at 11:33 AM Rating: Excellent
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Allegory wrote:
The 70s are a lot closer to 50 years than to 30 mate.
Nothing like starting out the New Year by feeling old. Smiley: glare
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That monster in the mirror, he just might be you. -Grover
#9 Jan 03 2018 at 8:16 AM Rating: Excellent
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I stepped on a Lego. That reminded me of my parents screaming about stepping on Legos. That made me feel olde.
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George Carlin wrote:
I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
#10 Jan 03 2018 at 2:14 PM Rating: Excellent
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It wasn't the aches, the pains, the short term memory loss, the aches, or the pains?
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Dandruffshampoo wrote:
Curses, beaten by Professor stupidopo-opo.
Annabella, Goblin in Disguise wrote:
Stupidmonkey is more organized than a bag of raccoons.
#11 Jan 03 2018 at 9:26 PM Rating: Excellent
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I'm starting to come to the conclusion that maybe I should not be handling any sharp objects during any sort of holiday meal. I was *just* about healed up from the giant gash I cut in my hand during Thanksgiving, when I had a minor "incident" with the mandolin slicer. And by minor, I mean "cut a slice of my thumb off". Ok. A small slice, but still. It's a good thing I'm not anemic, or I'd have bled out. Protip: Cuts don't stop bleeding if you have no skin layer to press together. Not until full coagulation occurs. Which, apparently, involves at least a half dozen blood soaked bandages.

Still managed to finish the dish I was making, left handed, and without getting any blood in the dish either. Which was pretty freaking amazing. Not sure where the slice of skin ended up though... Smiley: sly
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#12 Jan 03 2018 at 9:32 PM Rating: Excellent
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Time to invest in some Kevlar Gloves for the holiday cooking seasons.
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#13 Jan 03 2018 at 9:40 PM Rating: Excellent
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TirithRR wrote:
Time to invest in some Kevlar Gloves for the holiday cooking seasons.


That is exactly my plan.
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#14 Jan 04 2018 at 12:33 AM Rating: Excellent
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gbaji wrote:
mandolin slicer.
Do you hate bards or something?Smiley: tongue
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remorajunbao wrote:
One day I'm going to fly to Canada and open the curtains in your office.

#15 Jan 04 2018 at 8:22 AM Rating: Excellent
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gbaji wrote:
I was *just* about healed up from the giant gash I cut in my hand during Thanksgiving, when I had a minor "incident" with the mandolin slicer.
If you're going to be leaving liquids in your meals anyway you might as well just spit in the dish and save yourself on bandages.
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George Carlin wrote:
I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
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